13 Comments

...my fear is no longer dominating my joy. The only person to witness and recognise my joy might only ever be myself, but surely that’s what counts the most?

YES, 100%.

And vave you ever thought about sharing some of your music here?

Expand full comment

I have literally not considered this. Yikes!

Expand full comment

Look at that! Susan discovered an implied “no.” This is a brilliant idea. I would also welcome musical info dumps of all sorts.

Expand full comment

Me too!

Expand full comment

For myself, I am here for Hayley and whatever weird wonderful stuff bubbles up (not limited to “book stuff.”) ♥️

Expand full comment

‘Most of all, though, I’ve realised this: saying ‘no’ isn’t actually a refusal at all. It’s choosing to say ‘yes’ to yourself.’

Absolutely love this! This piece really articulates the anxiety that many people feel about saying ‘No’ to things. We don’t want to be awkward or unhelpful, and we don’t want people to stop asking - if we say ‘No’, maybe they will. But equally there is anxiety in doing things we really don’t feel comfortable with and that is far worse because we stop being true to ourselves.

I’m interested to know if this is a uniquely female standpoint. I don’t think it can be but it somehow feels much more applicable to women than men. Or maybe it’s just applicable to overthinkers!

Expand full comment

Your writing always strikes me as so effortlessly funny and human and wise. Your joy totally springs off the page.

Expand full comment

That's a lovely thing to say. Thank you! 😍

Expand full comment

Also, I'm so confused because I swear I'm subscribed to you but the substack keeps saying I'm not...

Expand full comment

I'll check my dashboard thingy.

Expand full comment

Huh!!! Baffled. I've switched off all my emails as 🫨🫨🫨🫨 so I do very much rely on the app to serve me the right stuff 🧐

Expand full comment

Also your daughter has your chin.

Expand full comment

Yeah she basically has my whole face 😂

Expand full comment